Category: Welcome to my kitchen!

  • I don’t think you’re dumb! Let’s save the republic!

    Having a platform is a wonderful thing. Like many of our founding fathers before us, when we dissent, we can write about it.

    I don’t tend to be publicly outspoken about politics. For one thing, I think that people who have made up their minds don’t care to see another perspective. Also I refuse to hate you just because you’re on the wrong side of history. I don’t hate you, in fact I love you. I know most of you believe that you are kind, loving and God fearing. Let’s talk about that.

    I am not central in my political beliefs, and I understand that many of my ideals reach outside of what would be considered moderate.

    With that being said, I am appalled by this administration, but more than that, I’m disappointed in evangelical christians.

    I grew up in Mississippi, a solidly conservative state with a church on just about every street. The Bible was my “sword”. I can still recite the books of the Bible in order in about 1.5 minutes. Growing up, I doubled down on Jesus and his message, and honestly that’s never changed. If you know me well, you know that I credit Jesus with all that I am.

    However, I do not consider myself an evangelical Christian because over time, I have come to believe that a benevolent God won’t just end his offer of salvation at the moment of your death. Want to come on that journey, read Love Wins by Rob Bell. It’s called hopeful universalism. Do your own research.

    Now, here’s the issue I have with the white, evangelical US church.

    1. Where Jesus turns away no one, the US, white evangelical church turns away anyone they deem as “living in sin”. “Living in sin” might as well describe everyone because everyone is a sinner. Sin is choosing to do the wrong thing. Right is based on loving God and loving other people.

    Specifically the White, Evangelical, church turns away anyone they deem as living wrongly, while forgetting that they too are sinful. That group of people “living wrongly” is literally anyone who doesn’t agree with their interpretation of the Bible.

    As a liberal, someone who doesn’t support or follow DJT, someone who believes bodily autonomy and healthcare are human rights, someone who loves my neighbors, even though they’re gay, or foreign, or not white, this includes me. I consider myself to be a Christian, but white evangelicals would not be happy having me in their church.

    This is in direct opposition to the Bible.
    We are told that it’s not our job to judge others. God does that.
    We are also told that we should be focused on our own “right living” and not the “right living” of others.

    2. There is a movement in the southern baptist church where the word “empathy” has lost all meaning. Empathy is now considered a “worldly” concept that allows excuses for people to live sinfully.

    What a crock of 🐂 💩.

    The entire theme of salvation is empathy! God has empathy for the human condition or else there wouldn’t be a salvation story at all.

    3. There are no differences between black and white, American and immigrant, gay, straight, trans, etc. These are all humans. Humanity is what God loves. He meets us where we are. You taught me that. You taught me the ways that people in history misunderstood God’s love. For example, I learned of the Corrie Ten Boom story from reading a book in the church library. She and her sister hid jews in her house (in the name of Jesus) and they were sent to the concentration camps. Corrie lived to continue her missionary work, sadly, her sister did not survive. But they did what was right, even though it was not legal.

    Now my Sunday school teachers are going back in time and choosing the wrong side.

    Jesus was a homeless, immigrant nomad. His stories are all about giving away money to the needy, living in a community, and caring for the lowest classes. (prostitutes, tax collectors, etc. Is any of this ringing a bell?) Jesus didn’t shout at girls in bad situations. Jesus isn’t loudly being hateful because Minnesotans are standing up for their neighbors. Personally, I think he’d be out there getting arrested with the other clergy.

    Southern, white evangelicals have gone full antebellum. Using the Bible and their interpretation of it to hold people down (women, people of color), to maintain wealth and superiority. You claim high moral ground, while blatantly ignoring whole themes of the Bible that you profess to believe in.

    People around you need God’s love, and you’re too busy telling them that there are conditions to his love, to see that giving God’s love is so much easier than you make it.

    I was taught that salvation is a process of sanctification and justification. A process means that there’s no time-limit on repentance. That God’s timing on saving people is his timing. Excluding people for not yet having repented is not what God asks us to do. He asks us to spread the Gospel. That’s it.

    The gospel is God’s love for people. His ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, and his supernatural ability to defeat death are the gospel. All you have to do is love them. God does the rest.

    But Holly, I love the sinner but hate the sin, just like God does.
    Nope. That doesn’t exist. You are a sinner, too. In fact, feeling morally superior to people you consider sinners is sinful. It’s pride. Think about that. 

    This is where a lot of people I’ve spoken to will say that I’m being prideful and taking moral high ground in direct opposition to what I’m saying. You can feel that way if you want to, but if you look deeper, you may just see that your knee-jerk reaction is to blame me for what I’m saying instead of recognizing the discipline of the Holy Spirit? Pray about it before getting angry.



    Tying this back to the US political climate.


    Christians came to America looking to separate church from state.
    It’s Christians who looked to a mix of religious and secular politicians to help establish a way of living that is based on laws, not religious text.

    The founding fathers of the United States were not perfect. The constitution provides the ability to add amendments, so that we can correct and clarify issues of division. There are processes in place to make these changes, so that no one person claims all the power over the people the United States. In fact, the power is supposed to be of the people, by the people, and for the people.

    The entire point of having 3 branches of government is to spread power, so no one branch is above the law. We call this “checks and balances”.

    In the current administration, the judicial branch and the legislative branch have given their power over to the excutive branch.

    This is bad even if you do agree with the current administration, this administration has opened the door for anyone with any views to steal your rights. Power is so seductive.

    So, if you currently agree with a governmental police force that is masked, armed to the teeth, and going after US citizens, that should scare you. They are on your side now, but what if they weren’t?

    What if instead of Minnesota, they were pouring into Atlanta? And instead of killing lesbians, they were murdering white men? Does it hit differently for you?

    What if instead of overturning Roe V. Wade, they were overturning the 2nd amendment? Does that hit differently for you?

    I’m not saying that would happen. I’m just saying it could because you are allowing a new precedent.

    You have felt powerless for so long, and now you feel you have power.
    But you don’t. Prices are still rising, US is threatening hostile takeover of our allies (that means war, y’all) , and getting cancer in America is likely going to bankrupt you. All while scientists lose the ability to find cures because the administration doesn’t think it’s a good use of our tax dollars.

    The people in power are not helping you. Just making you feel more superior to whoever you already felt was “living in sin”. What they are doing is stealing from you. Every hard earned cent you earn is working for the very people who don’t need it, and could never spend their wealth in 100 lifetimes. They are laughing at you because you are championing your own demise, and they think you’re stupid.

    Let me say that again. The administration that you support thinks you’re stupid. They want your kids to be uneducated, so they can continue to take advantage of your natural prejudices and keep you poor and sick. They want you to need them, so they can continue to stoke your feelings of fear and disgust for the others who are not “good” like you are.

    Don’t get mad at me for saying this. Look into it. People you agree with are starting to dissent. You are allowed to change your mind at any point. You do not have to double down when we can work together to save the most successful democratic republic in the history of the world. Despite what you think, I do not think you are dumb.

  • Growing Pains

    Now that I’m getting the hang of filming most days, I’m learning how to navigate the facepalm feeling. For example, the last video I posted, my fingerprints were all over my iPhone camera. Whoops! Terrible video quality.

    *Facepalm*

    In the beginning of this journey, as my social media manager, editor, and husband tells me, “It’s quantity right now that’s important.” Which means that my sweet little perfectionist brain has to let these feelings go.

    I know I mentioned in my last post that perfection doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t. Understanding that perfection is unattainable at a core level has taken years of therapy!

    Even so, I want to do my best. The deep down facepalm feeling is that my best is not enough. It’s been re-iterated many times to me throughout my whole life that there will always be someone out there doing whatever I’m doing better than me. (Thanks, Mom.)

    Another whoops happened when I referred to the silver skin on my pork tenderloin as a kind of fat. It’s actually is a thick fascia of connective tissue that surrounds each muscle, so in reality I wasn’t removing the fat at all!

    *Facepalm*

    I grew up in the Deep South in Mississippi. I had a lot of folks message me directly to let me know not to remove fat from the pork tenderloin. Whoops! Thankfully my social media manager, editor, and husband says that engagement on my content (even if negative and corrective) is still good for the channel.

    Which should make the mistakes feel less embarrassing, I guess?
    But honestly, I am still here explaining myself like a good little ADHD girl, letting you know that I didn’t mean to get it wrong. 😳

    Funnily enough, these are insignificant errors to the whole of the project.
    Making errors as you go, figuring out how to best solve the problem or finish a project is totally fine. It’s all part of the process. Trust the process and enjoy the successful outcome after working through it. Take the learns, and finesse the process. It will get better!

    Maybe you go back and repair, maybe you let the little ones slide.
    If I listen to my husband, and I often do cause he’s pretty amazing, then the little errors of this project will likely have no bearing on the overall success.

    It doesn’t have to be perfect, and neither do I. And neither do you.

    Make a pact with me. When you feel a facepalm moment coming on, acknowledge what you think you did wrong, remind yourself it’s not as embarrassing as it feels, and then let it go.

  • My Career: Workplace Services

    Disclaimer: Thoughts shared here are of my own opinion and from the whole of my WPS experience. Some of the anecdotes are taken from real scenarios, but no specific business entity is herein specified.

    I have been in Workplace Services for 10 years and in management/leadership roles for 8. I’m really good at my job, but I’m also not ashamed to admit that I am not perfect. Perfection does not exist! Put up a red flag if someone says that perfection is their expectation.

    Workplace Services is a broad umbrella to describe the people that make working in an office possible.

    Your workplace services team is making sure:

    • The office is safe and compliant with local health and safety laws
    • You have access to the space that you are working in via a security system likely managed directly by Workplace Services
    • HVAC is working properly
    • Bathrooms and common areas are clean and stocked
    • There is emergency evacuation information available and drills provided (If in NYC this is a compliance requirement from the FDNY)
    • Coffee, drinks and snacks are ordered, received, and stocked
    • Meals are planned and served
    • Office supplies are ordered, received, and stocked
    • Mail is tracked and delivered. Mail is labeled and sent out
    • Office processes such as welcoming visitors and how to get service is well communicated and posted
    • Happy Hours and other events are planned and executed
    • All seating assignments and floor maps are kept updated and tracked
    • Opex (operational expenses) and Capex (capital expenses) budgets are managed.
    • Capital projects are planned and executed (this includes purchase and installation of new furniture, office renovations, and other major projects that add value to the space and can be depreciated over time)

    I can go on, but you’ve probably lost interest.

    The point here is that if you work in an office and you are not part of the Workplace Services team, you have only a partial understanding of the breadth and scope of what they manage. Usually these teams operate with less members than any other team in an organization.

    In addition to the work they do, they also manage a lot of emotions.
    Humans have emotional and physical needs. This is normal and good.
    Your workplace services team is not trying to deny you your emotional or physical needs.

    Your WPS team is negotiating with leadership on your behalf to ensure you have what you need to be productive and happy at work.

    Modern day corporations expect too much of the humans that work for them.
    There is no such thing as a 40 hour work week anymore, generally speaking.
    Most offices allow badge access 24/7. They want you to come in when you’re off and work. That’s not conjecture. I’ve been in meetings where it was specifically stated that building maintenance could not be completed in high priority times because people were expected to come in on the weekend and work. This was not expressly communicated to the workers, it was an unwritten expectation with consequences if you didn’t “get it”.

    So, in addition to negotiating with leadership teams to protect your free time and also succeed in maintaining the facility, we are also the people who receive most of the complaints.

    As much as we like to cater to individual needs when we can, there’s a lot of times when the answer is no. It’s not that we don’t want to raise the temperature for you, but more that the person sitting next to you is hot while you are cold, and there’s not a cut and dried solution when changing the temperature means trying to coerce a 25 year old HVAC system to cooperate.

    Should an office’s HVAC system be old enough to rent a car? No. Have we asked to replace it many times? Yes. Is the replacement disruptive to the business? Yes. Then the leadership team says no, and the cycle continues.

    If you have been working from home and are asked to return to the office. Please do not complain to the Workplace Services Team. They have been in office 5 days a week throughout a global pandemic. They have been riding the subway double masked before the existence of a vaccine to ensure that the servers are on and the AC is cooling it. They are still processing the mail. They are still maintaining the facility, and they have been doing this the entire time that you’ve been working from home.

    I do think you should complain about being forced back into the office 5 days a week! It’s ridiculous to ask you to commute everyday when the staff is now spread globally. You’re still sitting at a desk in back to back zoom calls, just not in your pjs. Use your voice where it counts!

    I believe in a 3 day a week hybrid work model that allows some mandatory time in-office. Working from home 5 days a week is also not the best solution. You need to see your co-workers and be connected to your goals as they relate to the success of the entire business. This is the most reasonable model that I’ve experienced to justify expensive NYC rental space while also understanding that productivity increases when people have more autonomy over their time.

    Now that you understand how we advocate for you, please do not terrorize the workplace team about the catered food.

    We want to know about your allergies and where you keep your epi pen.

    Do not tell us that you hate teriyaki, or you need only bagels for breakfast. Please fill out the feedback form with relevant information. We will change course if a majority of people feel the same way about a meal or a cuisine.

    Do not circulate a petty petition about your breakfast options and submit it to HR, especially when you do not have a majority in agreement, and there are other respectful ways of providing feedback. We have hundreds people for whom to cater. Our goal is to please a majority, not to please each individual. Plus you do not want to be on the shit list of the workplace team. They are the only ones certified in CPR. 👀

    (JK. We would still perform CPR if you needed it.)

    In a stressful work environment, workers reach a breaking point. This too is normal and expected. Who do they call? Workplace Services. I have caught people while they’re fainting. I’ve taken folks to the hospital. I’ve talked people through their panic attacks. I’ve activated more icepacks and taken out more splinters than I can count. I’ve consoled people when they didn’t get that promotion. A lot of this support comes from digging deeper into a surface level office request. This is important work, and I love doing it. My team and I are here for you and I genuinely care about you even if you can be petty for no understandable reason.

    The pressure gets to me too. So, please offer grace if you see me crying in the stockroom.

    To sum it up. People are humans. They have physical and emotional needs. The workplace services team takes care of your physical needs in the office because it is our job. We take care of your emotional needs because we care about people, even though it’s not in the job description.

    If you read this and you work in an office, consider writing a quick thank you to the Workplace Team. They do it all, and for little recognition.


  • Why Am I Cooking? Part 3

    Cooking is practical. Cooking is an art.

    I am an artist. I’ve known this about myself for a long time, and I have tried so many forms. I like to paint, cross stitch, crochet. I’m also a trained actor and singer. Art is my jam, Y’all!

    Cooking is an art, and that is what draws me to it. It’s also super practical. I’m already cooking everyday, so it only makes sense to me to amp it up! Learn more techniques, recipes, science then make it funny and interesting to watch while also providing meals for my family and friends. I also happen to LOVE IT! I know people who dread going into the kitchen. I’m the opposite. I love to get in there and whip up something hearty.

    Also, in the words of my dear friend, Maylena Harrison, “I don’t want to watch you crochet.” That’s a fair point, but I will die on the hill that the Lumos Lumos hands free light is the only way to crochet or knit in the dark. I’ve also used that thing to light up my camping kitchen when it starts to get dark at dinnertime.

    Lumos didn’t pay me for this plug, though if you buy one of them, you will get to see my adorable 8 part series of how to make the Lumos lamp work for you. Also, I will get an amazon affiliate commission if you buy one using the link. (gotta pay those bills, am I right?)

    To end this 3 part posting series on “Why am I cooking?” I can sum it up in 3 main points.

    1. Being let go/laid off from my job was heart wrenching, but I learned that I want to be in control of how I spend my time and energy and with whom.
    2. Losing my mother-in-law helped me see that time is limited, and if I want an extraordinary adventure, I have to start right now.
    3. Cooking is the thing I want to do because I love it, it’s super practical, and it’s art, Goddamn it!

    “And Now,” cried Max, “Let the Wild Rumpus Start.”

    Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, sketch below by me.

  • Why am I cooking? Part 2

    We’ve discussed now that I lost my job. My position was eliminated, and I believe that due to my struggles with the late ADHD diagnosis and the medication changes that I was an easy target for these layoffs.

    But I was shot. I was burned out, so I signed the NDA and the severance package.

    Being called into the HR office is not fun. You know immediately what’s going to happen as soon as the HR lady asks you to go in there. When they told me that they were letting me go, I broke down. It was too much.

    I begged them to keep me, it was embarrassing. Of course the decision had been made, and I wasn’t the only one that they let go throughout that day.
    The experience of being brought your things and sent out the back door is disheartening to say the least, especially after sacrificing so much for nearly 3 years.

    (Disclaimer: It is a normal practice to escort people out of the building during a lay off. This is not a statement of fault on the part of my prior employer. It is purely my experience that it hurts.)

    I didn’t know it then, but a huge weight was lifted, and I was able to begin a journey that has brought me here.

    In the moment, I went to the library. Then as the layoffs continued, one of my friends was also let go. Then we went drinking. Then we sang karaoke. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to her! I think we both needed that moment, and since then we have become even better friends.

    The next few days, I drove out to Long Island to help my father-in-law, Chris, take care of Eileen. Eileen had just taken a turn for the worse. At this point she’d had multiple rounds of chemo, major surgery, sepsis, pneumonia, and a bladder blockage which affected her kidneys.

    They stabilized her kidney function with a catheter placed directly into each kidney connected to a bag to collect the urine. The cancer would not allow her to urinate. I know this is gross, but I want you to understand that she was not herself. She was dying. None of us wanted to accept that.

    The 3 days that I spend with Eileen and Chris were really good. She had some amazing lucid moments, but she wasn’t eating or drinking, and she wasn’t able to walk 2 feet without fatigue and confusion.

    Right near Easter, Patrick, Charlie, and I were in Baltimore with our friends, the Shelly’s, who we celebrate Easter with every year. While there, Eileen was admitted to the hospital and passed away overnight. My poor brother-in-law, Christopher was there with her when she took her last breath.

    She waited until my father-in-law left, I believe, because she didn’t want him to see her like that. I am so thankful to Christopher because she did not die alone, even though it must have been so traumatic for him.

    To help you understand what Eileen meant to me, you need to have a brief understanding of my relationship with my own mother. For reasons I do not know, my mother is very closed off emotionally. I do not believe she ever felt a strong attachment to me. She held me at arms length. I am, however, very affectionate and like any kid, just wanted someone to hug and kiss me and tell me things were going to be okay. My mother was not this person to me. Eileen was that person for me.

    When I was attending her wake, one of the ladies who was friends with my mother-in-law confided in me that Eileen had said that she believed she was put on earth to be a mother to me. Losing Eileen was losing my mom. The person I called when things were awful. The person I called when things were going extraordinarily well! If you have a wonderful relationship with your mom, then you know what I mean.

    Losing my job was a blow. Losing Eileen was a gut punch. Experiencing both losses at the same time left me wondering, “What on earth am I doing here?”

    Eileen lived life to the fullest. She was the first person to order a mimosa at the airport (even if it was 8am). She was the first person to put up her Christmas decorations, and the first one to support you in your new venture, even if it was an MLM, LOL. (MLM is multi-level marketing like Avon, Mary Kay, and all those “business ventures” that women you haven’t seen in 20 years Facebook you about.) Not my jam, but it was never about the things she bought, it was about supporting her friends. She was just the most generous and supportive person you would ever meet.

    After the funeral, and when day to day activities resumed, I realized that I now had time to do things that I wanted to do while I was working. I joined the PTA. I baked for the bake sale. Charlie was named Student of the Month in Science in September, and I was free to attend the ceremony with no fear that I would be seen as less loyal to my job than other employees.

    That’s an amazing feeling and I want to hold onto that feeling for as long as I can.

  • Why am I cooking?

    This is a multi-part answer which I’ll address in multiple posts. To boil it down, I lost my mind, I lost my job, I lost my Mother-in-law, and the overwhelm took a toll.

    I don’t know about you, but figuring out medication for ADHD is hard. In April 2024, I received an ADHD diagnosis. At the same time, My mother-in-law, Eileen Benedict, was in her first round of chemo. At the time, I was working at a job where my colleague had left on paternity leave 2 weeks after our new boss started. Already, that is a lot.

    Eileen and me

    I managed as best as a could, changing medication while trying to unlearn how I’ve functioned for the last 43 years while learning healthier coping mechanisms. For those of you blessed to have a brain that functions typically, I want you to imagine that you believe everyone hates you (even your family and friends), you are not doing enough, you are too much for everyone to handle, and on top of that, you’ve been called lazy, sensitive, and weird for your entire life.

    The way most neurodivergent people cope is by learning not to trust their instincts, but to do everything possible to hide in the midst of a sea of normal people. This is basically referred to as “masking”. When you start medication, the mask drops and the struggling begins.

    Med 1: Concerta
    I began taking Concerta and immediately felt different. I was able to focus, and I was very productive, however, sometime around 4pm the meds wore off and I couldn’t string 2 sentences together.

    Med 2: Dextroamphetamine
    Starting this medication lines up with the new boss and taking on the entire department while my colleague was on paternity leave. This medicine made me feel and act absolutely crazy. My emotional regulation was nil. My ability to focus was great, but my anxiety was through the roof. The medication took my normal work stress and amplified it by 1000. I cried literally everyday. I didn’t realize this medication was not working until after I was laid off.

    I stopped taking this med after losing my job, and suddenly I was me again.

    Med 3 and 4: Wellbutrin and Vyvanse
    Praise Baby Jesus! This one works for me. Gotta love a cocktail.
    I can focus, I can let things go, I can be kind to myself. I can breathe.

    I share all of that to say this: grace is so important when you’re figuring out your medication. You need supportive people in both your personal and professional lives while figuring it out. I think that many people feel that kindness doesn’t have a place at work, but I think the opposite. Kindness is essential.

    For anyone at my old job that I offended during this transition period, I am sorry. For anyone at my old job wondering if I am okay. I can finally say that yes, I am okay.